Today is the day that I am finishing off my PhD proposal. Nothing massive……just the only most important proposal of my life. No pressure. No pressure at all.
To be honest, I have been putting off writing this proposal for about three weeks. I have picked it up and put it down a hundred times and looked at it and done the bits I know I can do (personal statement and timetables) but left the research part until now. Why would I do that? To be honest, I think I am battling my inner demons (Miss no confidence in her abilities and Mister fear of rejection). They have been my toxic best friends for years! Each morning, I wake up, best intentions in my heart but sit there thinking “How can I do this? Why should they pick me? Do I really want this?”I have all the answers in my head but actually writing it down is a difference story all together. Getting it out of my dyslexic head and onto paper in a logical order just doesn’t work for me. So I am at the Battle of Waterloo with myself. I mean it is so simple to be afraid. So here I am, afraid and sharing my fears with you. Wish me courage.