Good morning fellow homosapiens,
I have been having a lovely (lazy) Saturday morning in bed with Rupert, my breakfast (special k with nuts, blueberries and raspberries) and my coffee (TAP in London – freshly ground and smelling divine). I have four pillows around me and totally hogging all of the duvet – proper cocoon. The weather is as confused my sexuality was back in 2005. Now this may seem like excessive details but I just want to set the scene well. Take me back eight weeks – right before my accident and I would have been miserable and wanted someone in my bed with me as the idea of being alone for any length of time in my bed (or any setting) provoked strong fear and worry within me. I would have text one of my exes just to get their attention. Yes this is awful of me and yes I am cringing.
However this is no longer the case. Now, today, the scene is the same but I am different. I have gotten up, let Rupert out, drank my usually warm water and lemon juice mix whilst the kettle boiled, made breakfast, ground my coffee beans and took the time to focus on the smell that fresh coffee. If you ever go to London, go to a independent coffee shop and buy a bag of coffee beans. I recommend TAP or Monmouth. I promise you, it will change your life. I then went back to bed, snuggled down, grabbed my iPad and did my usual Saturday morning routine (brain training and duolingo). If you don’t know these apps, they are brilliant. I use the app “Elevate”for my brain training. It is three tasks each morning to help kick my brain into gear.
Then I learn French using “Duolingo”. It is a brilliant app that lets you learn a language at your pace and ability. Now I am dyslexic and I have to see the words written whilst they are being spoken to enable my brain to register this information. So as you can imagine this makes learning a different language harder. But this app breaks the language down and makes you speak, read, listen and write in French all at the same time with simple sections. It’s absolutely amazing. I have been learning French for 6 weeks and I am 6% fluent. And it’s a free app! Both are free actually. Now I probably did not explain that very well so go, download it and give it a try. I promise you will be hooked. I will review it in a different post one day.
Anyways, sorry about the side rant, back to the morning…So this morning, it is different. I have hogged the duvet without anyone else’s acknowledgement or protest. I am able to sit with my hair messy and with no make up on and do not feel uncomfortable or judged. I have sat in silence without the pressure of discussing my latest sleeping habits with anyone. I am free to work on myself without the embarrassment of anyone hearing my bad french and passing comment. FYI – 6% fluent does not insinuate sexy bed talk as I am still learning phrases like ‘the man followed the horse’. But anyways I am able to sit in my bed without the demands for forced conversation and truly have enjoyed it. This moment is a milestone for me. I know that tomorrow I may wake up and feel lonely but for today I am content in my head space. To be honest, Rupert kind of ensures I never feel alone. as he is never far away. I swear he has even learnt that “Je marche” means I walk as he starts to perk up when I am doing ‘present 1/2’. Despite him bouncing around the bed this morning, I actually enjoyed that I was not with company, that I didn’t have to think about anyone else and their needs. It was and still is nice to be in bed and think ‘my day’s agenda is all my own’.
So whilst now, after my daily dose of self-development, I moved on to Pinterest to find some new life habits to adopt. Life habits are great because whilst we are all creatures of habit, we also sometimes need normality in the face of chaos. Without a simple distraction or a routine, some individuals – me particularly – could sit and dwell on drama and bad news for hours. With a life habit, I know I have to do certain things at certain times and that breaks the cycle of destruction. One thing I noticed was that almost every single pin I saw had one element in common…write. Whatever the pin title was (how to be a better you, how to improve productive, how to deal with it, how to sleep better), it had the suggesting of writing somewhere in it. It seems that to secret to doing everything and anything better, is to write.
I found this interesting because without thinking about it, I automatically went to writing as a resource for my self-development. So I decided to stop my search and write a post about this hoping that it may help any of you. So I went shopping on Monday in town and I went to T.K.Maxx. I love this store for picture frames and notebooks. There is always the picture-worth frames and word-inspiring notebooks there. I spent a good twenty to twenty- five minutes looking and flicking through the notebooks to find the perfect one as you see, I have criteria:
- It has to be narrowed ruled paper as that keeps my writing neat
- It has to be thick enough where it would last a while
- It has to have decent size pages (between A4 and A5) as I like to write a lot without continuous flicking pages.
- Good quality paper that doesn’t let ink bleed through
- The ability to open completely flat
- And finally, an inspiring cover
Then I found the one for £4.99 and it was perfect. The cover was simple but inspiring for me as a writer. It felt worthy of the content I was going to fill it with. I think if you are going to write then you should love your stationary. You should want to open it and struggle to stop rather than struggle to open it and want to stop.
The next thing I always do is something that I do with all of my new notebooks, cards that I give and books I receive and give. I find a quote that is relevant to the purpose of the card or notebook. I write this in the inside cover of each book and on the left hand side of cards, in addition to the message for the recipient. For this notebook , I wanted a quote that reminders me of life and the feeling of being alive. Since the accident has spurred on this journey of self-discovery, I thought it would be appropriate and encouraging when I had a bad day. Below is a picture of my quote.
Continuing on from this morning, I have written a new entry in my self-discovery book and I have to admit that I think it has helped. Writing does seem to be helpful when doing everything and anything better. If you want free time – write about whatever is on your brain. It will help to de-clutter your thinking and act as your therapist. You can rationale all your thoughts that you may not ready to speak aloud. Put it this way, your thoughts is a 10,000 piece puzzle in your head. When I do a puzzle I take the piece out of the box and spread them out to make sense out of the them. The words in your head are the puzzle pieces, your head is the box they came in and the notebook, paper, laptops, napkins or whatever you decide to write on is the space where you lay the pieces out. It acts as the canvas where you are able to work through each thought and brainwave as it comes without passing judgement. It will never make you feel guilty for the sting in your most vemonous statement. It does not dislike you for the words you write or feel hurt when the truth is written. It does not care that you have not written in a while or changed your style of writing and there is always time for another cup of coffee. Best of all, it will never tell your secrets. It never walks to a friend and says “read me, I am juicy gossip”. It’s just the vessel for your thoughts.
If you are to take anything away from this post, then take up the art of writing. The therapeutic benefits of writing are endless and you will be more independent and in control. You won’t be the friend that always needs to talk and you won’t feel overwhelmed with any situation anymore. You know yourself best and you are your number one priority. Take time for you and your emotional wellbeing.