You are enough… 

Life should be about celebrating our strengths and the beauty in each other. But too often is it clouded by negativity and identifying flaws. It’s a shame. Kindness goes a long way and you do not realise the power of a compliment at any given time. I have never heard of anyone hating a compliment. Most people hate hearing the compliment or hate that the compliment challenges their own perception of themselves but it’s not the compliment itself that does that. That’s the lack of self-confidence or the belief that it could actually be true. You could actually have nice hair or a beautiful smile. It’s an outrage that we live to believe the worst in ourselves foremost and that we must challenge the affection of others. I am as guilty as the next in thinking this and focusing solely on the negative. The “what can I fix about myself” or the “I am unlovable if I don’t have a, b, or c”. And I sometime surround myself with people that reinstall this. Or worse, I live vicariously through others by paying them compliments instead of myself.

If you give away everything, you leave your life in the hands of others. You live by their every word. But if you refocus your attention on yourself, then you become more independent and increase your own self-esteem. Your value doesn’t decrease or increase based on someone else’s perception of your worth. Stop comparing yourself to anyone (and everyone) else. That like comparing animals to jam flavours. We are all different, with different journeys and goals, and I cannot compare my success to others because they don’t have those same ambitions. They don’t battle the same demons in my head and they don’t know what makes my heart sing.

Nothing will ever hold you back more than your own insecurities. Joel Osteen – you cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life. You want to change your life, live more positively, reach your dreams then get rid of those that say “you can’t do that!”, “you always say that and watch in two weeks…” Or “keep dreaming sweetie.” For their people are weighing you down. Next time they say something critical but not constructive, just turn around and say ‘give me a compliment, some time, a smile, a constructive point, an idea, a second thought. Just never give me your negativity or judgement as its not welcome here.” And walk away. Then look at that relationship and ask yourself – what do you get from this? What do I give to this? Is this equal? – if it isn’t, most definitely and unequivocally walk away. For those people will take and take until you are empty. For those people are the ones that make excuses when you are making progress. For those are the ones that stand behind you, not next to you. So let that be their last page in your book and turn the page over.

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Surround yourself with positive people and life is a beautiful thing. Be proud and strong enough to walk away for those that no longer serve a purpose in life, that not longer build you up, that do not want you to better yourself. You deserve more than their criticism. For you are beautiful, amazing and you are enough. You are so enough it’s unbelievable how enough you are. Welcome to a new day.

So create a day worth living and tell me all about it,

Ivy xx

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Author: Ivy iris

This is my story of finding my ikigai. Ikigai (生き甲斐, pronounced [ee-ki-ɡU]) is a Japanese concept meaning "a reason for being". According to the Japanese, everyone has a hidden ikigai. Finding it requires a deep and often lengthy search of self. Such a search is regarded as very important, since it is believed that discovery of one’s ikigai brings satisfaction and meaning to life.

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