For when you fall apart…

If it’s not broken the don’t fix it. I am sure we have all heard these words from fathers and friends our whole life. And it’s true, if you have something good and it’s working, don’t fix it. Don’t sabotage it or think it is going to break. However, don’t stay stationary either. As humans we are consistently evolving and adapting to our world. Either due to opening our minds and hearts to the idea of something new or being forced to. Forced to think outside our world due to heartbreak. That ripping that sends pulsations through to our core which forces us to face change. Without a hint of morbidity, this unfortunately is inevitable. The butterfly effect gives rationale to the theory of chaos both in and out of science – that a small cause sparks larger effects. Death, love and loss, accidents all happen with devastating effect that sustains within the boundaries of our life long after the event. 

To grieve is natural. It’s a part of a process required to mend and build. However sometimes we take up permanent residence here. Frozen in that ambition and protected from emotions. It is easier than dealing with what’s ahead. The uncertainties of life make the future scary not the day itself. I know this because tomorrow will come at the same time that today did and as far as I am aware time travel is still within its early stages of discovery. Therefore the uncertainty of life, of what is ahead and of change stalls us from moving forward. 

However, I offer an alternative to stagnation. An alternative to those asking ‘why don’t I fit here? Why is it never enough? “It is in changing that we find purpose.” A quote by the great Heraclitus, a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher and a personal favourite that has resonated within me across my life scan. Purpose is defined as the reason for which something exists. “Your job in your glorious life is not simply to endure it, but to soar, stumble and flourish as you learn to fall in love with existence” (Becca Lee). We were born to live my dear not to merely exist amongst the rumble left behind in the quake of disaster. Within the destruction, ask yourself what will make you feel alive again. And then go and do that, for your passion will lead to purpose. 

So, may the next few days, weeks, months or years be your beautiful transformation. It’s doesn’t matter what the speedometer reads, it’s your direction. I always say to people “don’t look back, you are not going that way.” And I’m not saying not to remember, for those memories have shaped who you are today and will be tomorrow. I’m saying don’t walk forward looking backwards. You will miss your turning. Walt Whitman wrote “these are the days that must happen to you.” The rain must come for rainbows and the night must come for stars so you must break to mend. To mend; to rebuild. To rebuild; to create. To create; to change. To change; to find purpose.

Your struggles are real and your hurt is authentic. Use those experiences to change, to redefine your identity, to restore your strength and to originate your purpose. You are not alone. Keep your head high and your heart open. 

I wish you courage, 

Ivy xx


Author: Ivy iris

This is my story of finding my ikigai. Ikigai (生き甲斐, pronounced [ee-ki-ɡU]) is a Japanese concept meaning "a reason for being". According to the Japanese, everyone has a hidden ikigai. Finding it requires a deep and often lengthy search of self. Such a search is regarded as very important, since it is believed that discovery of one’s ikigai brings satisfaction and meaning to life.

8 thoughts on “For when you fall apart…”

  1. That was so inspirational…
    And yes change is life as u said.
    Ups and downs are a part of life. I totally agree with you that there is no smile without a demise. So all the things are necessary in our life.
    Learning from all my worries and moving ahead like a champion – That’s what I learnt from your blog.
    And I bet most of the people would say after reading this, Yes we didn’t give up because of you.
    Thanks a lot for writing this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow. Thank you so much. Your words are beautiful and I completely agree with your statements.

      I am completely blown away by your support.

      I would love for you to write a Sunday story. Check out the page and I really hope to hear from you


      Ivy xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. such powerful and true words. One of the biggest things i have learned is to not fight the hurt or pain you are feeling..but to actually feel it, and THEN you can move on and learn from it or reshape yourself. You cannot do any of that, if you fight the feelings and dont allow them to be.

    -wishing you courage back ❤ xo

    Liked by 1 person

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