So it’s been a while since I have posted. A long while and to be frank with all of you this was not a conscious decision to stop posting. It was just one day after another of life substance taking up my time and me putting pressure on myself to post more than I am physically able to. I want to be here (online) all the time but I can’t do that and without realising it, I had stopped altogether. I love posting and blogging. It gives me a sense of existence and a platform to share my journey with the world without the worry or need for external validation. And before I knew it, I am here saying ‘why did I ever stop?’
I can online today and saw that a few people, friends I would say, had deactivated their pages and come and gone. I felt a prick of sadness hit me thinking what once was there has been disconnected. It was difficult to see an individual who I consider a part of my virtual life defuse into the crowds. I felt the sharpness of the cold pierce through me when I thought of the impact my disappearance has potentially created on others. For anyone I have disappointed, I am truly sorry and just hope that you have been able to find the very things you were looking for.
What coming back online has taught me is that I can finally answer the questions – “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Yes, I know this is a philosophical thought experiment that raises questions regarding observation and knowledge of reality. But more literally, yes it does. Coming back online has shown me that the world moves on and things happened that we are unaware of and they can send ripples through our life without realisation and not until we extend our hands and reconnect that we find things have changed. And that it is not about trying to fix something that is perceived broken or has since changed and become ineffective. Instead, it is about just starting again and making something better. It’s a chance to rebuild what you want. So I am starting again, same idea, same blog. But with a new pattern of thought, a new wave of emotions, a real commitment to being present, a new connection with the online world and above all else, a new belief system in myself.
So I make no promises to be consistently posting Sunday Stories, but I am able to make the promise to be here and post when I can. I want to write Sunday Stories but I cannot do this every week. So for now, this is a once a month series starting in January. That way it becomes something that I can give my time and energy to every month without feeling rushed or giving sub-standard stories. I want to do as I have been previously done and to take the time to learn about you, all of you. You deserve that. All of you do.
Until that, I will be posting more. I will update you about my life, whats new, whats changed in due course. I will try and be as present as I can be. So raise your mugs of coffee and wine glasses. Let us just start again and when your ready, I’m ready